But instead, I wanted to say something else.
I'm stressed. I'm not really sleeping. I work all the time. And yes, I'm happy. Maybe not in the exact moment I'm wondering if I'll have enough money in the bank to pay the bills or if I'll get my display perfectly built, or if I'll make all my money back at One of a Kind. But I love what I do and I'm doing it for myself. I'm not stressing myself out for someone else's gain (ie: someone else's business). I don't want to be one of those people who constantly complain about my job, but stay in it for YEARS without doing anything. Too often I hear them say - they're waiting for the right time, to get their portfolio ready, waiting for blah blah blah..... no excuses. There are too many excuses in the world and not enough doing. Been dealt a crappy blow, that sucks. I feel for you. We've all had rough times in our lives, some more so than others, but we've all had them. But it's how you react and respond to those bad times that makes you the person you are. I've always been a fighter. And I'm going to fight for my little business right now. I've made the conscious decision to take it to the next level and I knew there would be some tough times (and they are tougher than you ever think they are going to be) but it's not always going to be like this. The sleepless nights will turn into being able to set my own hours. The stress over finding money for all the things I need to get done, will turn into me being able to do all the creative things I want to do. And one day I won't have to work for someone else to pay my bills, I'll be able to do it all on my own, with my own little business (hopefully sooner rather than later) I'm always going to push for things to be better, so there are going to be good times and hard times. That's business and that's life. To all those people who keep asking me why I'm doing it all, is it really worth it, you are going to kill yourself (insert any stupid question you've ever heard) I feel sorry for them. Some people are happy to just go to work, come home, cook dinner etc. But most of those people I know aren't happy. At the end of my life, I'm going to know that I did something (I've done a lot of somethings already)
I guess this was a bit more of a rant than a rap. But you can blame my lack of sleep and social interaction on this one. Or you can just take it for what it is meant to be. Me just telling you that's it's ok to live your life the way you see fit, no matter what anyone else has to say on the subject. And if you don't understand someone elses dreams or goals, you don't need to. They're not yours.
I don't have a video to share, but I do have a song that has the same spirit as this post. The first time I heard it I was on a train trip and in one of those down moments where I started to doubt myself but I realized something. I've done a lot of things most people won't. I tried. Sometimes I failed, sometimes I succeeded, and everytime I had fun and wouldn't change any of them (except maybe moving back to Toronto - I really, really miss Vancouver) but when I die my life will be a pretty interesting tale - and it's not even half over yet ;) There is no video, so it's just a picture of pretty Ryan Tedder and the audio to the song "I Lived". You'll get it.
